The Long Evening

Sounds of laughter, an aroma of stale ale, and an ambiance of debauchery filled the tavern that evening. The room was full of opportunities for the charismatic Bosmer.

Peabody looked up from his tankard and saw that Elendar had found himself a fair Ashlander girl. He chuckled and thought, “well I see he’s occupied.”

Growing bored of keeping to himself the wood elf began to make his rounds throughout the tavern. A pungent odor of fish roused his attention as he neared a group of men and mer discussing their day's catch. “Ahhh, fishermen,” he muttered under his breath, a mischievous glimmer in his eye.

“They enjoy games.” His hand molested a Ta rune in his side pouch that he’d found earlier that afternoon.

“Good evening my finely polished men and mer!” Peabody announced approaching the malodorous group. “Would you like to try your luck in a game of wits?” The Bosmer asked, wearing a seductive grin. The conversations about fish and provisions died down as the table all looked up at this curious Bosmer. After a moment, a drunk Nord stood up to challenge the wood elf but was stumbling and slurring his words so badly he nearly fell sideways over his chair. A grizzly high elf who was sitting next to him reached out and guided the man back into his seat.

“Sit down, Nord, you've had quite enough,” the high elf said with a notable tone of condescension. “Altmer can handle their drink better than any other race in Tamriel” he said arrogantly, directing his speech now toward the Bosmer who approached them.

“Ohhhh good!” said the wood elf pulling up a chair. “Well, repeat after me, tilt the Ta in the flagon ‘till the ale ‘as been dranken, then start drinking.” The Altmer seemed to be confused by this. He stared at the Bosmer who simply smiled and slowly pointed at the high elves’ tankard. In his ale he finally noticed a Ta rune. At this the high elf’s lip twitched slightly. “So I owe you a drink now?” The Altmer asked gruffly. “That,” replied the Bosmer, “and you have to turn out your pockets,” he said with a feigned coyness masking his otherwise curling smile. “What?!” shouted the Altmer, exasperated and suspicious, his tone close to anger.

“Oi, wher‘ar yer stars na- burp -noow... Uulnath? HAH, bested by that tiny little muurr.. I would’a.. won..” hiccuped the Altmer’s companion, just before slouching down in his chair for an abrupt and involuntary slumber. At this several of the other fisher folk started laughing and pointing between the high elf and the now completely unconscious Nord.

“Uulnath, huh?” asked the wood elf. That's a silly name for an orc, let alone a high and mighty elf such as yerself!”

Peabody’s chest was postured and imitative, clearly mocking the grizzly Altmer. The high elf was not phased by this at first. In fact, he seemed amused by the wood elf’s eccentricities. Peabody noticed that he wasn’t making a dent in his prey’s stoic demeanor, and decided that he kind of liked the Altmer, though he certainly wasn’t about to abandon a challenge - especially not when his candidate was of the Altmer, who are fiercely proud and self important.

”Uulnath, hmmm?” The Bosmer questioned again. “By his stars he has a name,” he continued with some quip in his tone.

The Altmer began to introduce himself: “That’s right, I am Uulnath Drank of the Summer Isle, in servitude of her majest-” suddenly Peabody’s ears perked up and he blurtingly interrupted the Altmer. “Drank?! What a splendid surname! Uulnath though, we could do without, we’ll go with Ta, as you my friend drank the Ta.”

The Bosmer’s insults finally began to annoy the Altmer; however, it was simply in Peabody’s nature to bestow those he liked with a name that amused him, whether or not the receiving party was fond. “Well alright, Ta’Drank, how about you hedge your bets? Double or nothing?” proposed the wood elf, delighted by the impatience growing in his tall, new friend.

Across the tavern Elendar refilled a pair of flagons for himself and his companion.

“How did you find me?” Elendar asked. He said this somewhat brusquely, and the girl was taken off guard. “I didn’t, exactly… I tracked the Ordinators as far as the border of Skyrim, and from there...” The look on the girl’s face was grim. “... I didn’t know if I would ever see you again.” At this Elendar was staring forward, and if not for the occasional sip of his ale seemed to take on the rigidity of stone. He seemed to be intensely deep in thought. “I made my way through Skyrim and thought it likely that you wouldn’t stop until you were near Daggerfall territory. It was mere chance that brought me into this stinking tavern.” Her disdain for the Nords and their tavern was notably present in her tone of voice.

A loud applause came from the table where Peabody was with the fisherfolk. The dark elf glanced over his shoulder, and back to the wall in front of him. The fireplace was alight and shadows undulated across his gray face. The fishermen seemed to be having a good time with the Bosmer. Elendar converted back into a deep, quiet stream of thought - moving only to drink from his ale.

Finally, Elendar faced the girl and asked, “you’re sure nobody followed you?” He was clearly concerned that the Ordinators may simply have let her go so that she would inadvertently lead them to him. This concern registered deeply in his facial expression. If he were brought into custody now, he was sure that his previous sentence to slavery would be upgraded to execution.

“Of course I am,” she responded.

The girl’s face gave away that she was slightly hurt by the question, though Elendar didn't seem to acknowledge this. She, after all, was just as good at tracking and evading as he was, but he would never openly admit that to her.

“Where, and how, did you come across those ridiculous clothes?” He said brazenly, referring to the Ashlander garb that the girl was wearing.

“I found a Velothi exile the night before I departed Vvardenfell,” she replied, not masking the slight agitation in her voice at being questioned like someone who was oblivious or untrustworthy. “You know it would have been reckless, dangerous even, for me to travel in my own clothes. So, I caught a poor soul in the middle of the night with the stave of my bow…” Elendar slowly gave her a look, he seemed to pity the innocent Ashlander whom she knocked unconscious and robbed blind in the wild. Recognizing this, the girl rushed an explanation. “They’re nomads, outsiders! No one cares about their movements around the outskirts of Morrowind. I might as well have had a bushy tail and been addicted to skooma!” His recognition of her defense and frustration was noticeable as he smiled slightly. He knew she was right, and that she simply wanted him to acknowledge her wisdom for a change. He laughed to himself thinking of the poor Velothi waking up in the middle of nowhere with a bruised head and no clothes.

After awhile he turned to her. “If you want to help me, I’d like you to wait for my instructions at Windhelm, in the Gray Quarter, you can blend in there with the rest of the Dunmeri. Once I have a plan to return to Morrowind and clear my name of the charges against me, I’ll reach you there. I don't expect this of you, but if you insist on coming to my aid then this is what must happen.”

She stared at him silently, waiting, though without protest. Elendar continued in a very hushed tone. “I’ll contact you via courier by the name of Australia Jackson-” She moved to ask about this ridiculous new name of his, but he ignored her and continued speaking, “seeking you by the name, Liliah T’rizen. That is to be your identity there, and you are to blend in, however you can. Get a job working the forge, or the common market if you must. But listen to me very carefully, you aren't to trust anyone! Dunmer or not, let no one know of your Redoran heritage, or of your relation to our parents-”

“Our parents are dead, Elendar.”

She said this very matter-of-factly. Her features were grave, but stern.

Elendar only had a moment to register this before the table where Peabody was exploded into a cacophony of flying tankards and flurries of fists. Elendar looked at his younger sister who, understanding this commotion meant she needed to leave, gave him a curt bow before he was to hurry and see what was going on with Peabody. Internally the dark elf was unhinged by what his sister just disclosed to him. What could have happened? His confusion and shock was nearly debilitating. He was overcome by such a heavy feeling of guilt that he felt it was difficult to breath. His guilt quickly transformed into a consuming rage as he realized what was going on across the room.

A large, grizzly looking high elf was grappling with Peabody and managed to get a few hard pummels to the wood elf’s face. The Altmer’s patience had finally broken, and his drinking game had devolved into an effluent display of pugilism. Elendar rushed across the tavern to stop the brawl, leaping on and knocking over tables and drinks as he moved, and quickly knocked out the high elf using the hilt of his blade. He snapped his field of vision back towards his sister, but she had already slipped from the tavern unnoticed. His shock and anger had not yet simmered. To Elendar, it felt as though his entire insides were burning - his viscera felt to him like molten rocks heated by pure rage. He spun his sword around so that the blade and not the hilt was facing forward and moved it toward the neck of the now incapacitated high elf.

Noticing that the dark elf was about to commit murder in the middle of the tavern floor, the wood elf sprang quickly to his feet and set an arrow to his bow so immediately that the drunken patrons of the bar didn’t observe the intermediate steps between Peabody grabbing the arrow, and it being pointed directly at Elendar’s head.

“Now, now, Aussi,” said the Bosmer breathlessly, but calmly. “There’s no need to be killin’ar new friend.”

Elendar was instantly unsure of his predicament. His trust in the wood elf was strong, though he was so unhinged that his mental faculties were haywire, rapidly firing and misfiring. Time was moving much more slowly for Elendar. After what felt like 10 minutes, though was actually only a moment, he began to notice the quiet stares from around the tavern. The entire business was dead silent, and everyone’s full attention was centered on the three elves. It was a wonder that the city guards had not been filing into the bar at that very moment.

He let go of the high elf, who’s body fell to the floor with a thud, and the Bosmer slackened his grip on the bow and sheathed the arrow back into its quiver.

Uulnath awoke less than an hour later, propped in a chair in the corner of the tavern with both Elendar and Peabody seated across from him - the tavern had resumed its usual volume of conversation, music and drinking.There were three flagons on the table filled with ale. Each of them sat silent for a moment. The wood elf broke the long quiet with a chuckle and looked around the table to his companions.

“By Y’ffre’s hairy feet what a marvelous evening this has been! Ta, my good mer, you’ve got’a hell-uvah swing! Should be good in a fray!” He continued as he rubbed his eye that now matched the color of Elendar’s gray skin. “HAH, wud’ya look at that, I’m turning grey, Aussi, just like you! I hope dull, stern looks aren’t a side-effect.” Attempting to break the silence of the group, Peabody continued ranting as Elendar rolled his eyes and attempted not to break his concentration on the high elf.

Eventually interrupting Peabody’s nonsense, Elendar grabbed his flagon and raised it facing the high elf. Peabody seemed to understand this gesture, as he grew silent and waited for Uulnath's reaction. “Friendship through adversity,” said the Dunmer. Uulnath looked from him to the wood elf, his memory and coherency returning to him. He stared at the wood elf intensely, almost menacingly, as the Bosmer looked at his mirrored reflection in the dagger he was using to poke at his own swollen eye, imitating Elendar’s cautions, “Don’t touch that you silly Bosmer”.

Noticing Uulnath's fixation on Peabody, the dark elf exhaled a sigh and put his flagon down.

“You know I could just as easily have killed you as knocked you out, high elf.” As the Dunmer said this, the wood elf relieved Elendar of his helmet and stood up, mocking the Dunmeri fashion of dancing. The dark elf glanced sideways at Peabody dancing and couldn’t contain a small laugh. 
The high elf, looking at these two with a raised eyebrow, thought to himself, “... by Julianos’ little teapot, these two are completely mad.” 
Elendar, ignoring Peabody for a moment, continued speaking at the high elf, “it was actually Peabody here who decided he liked you." As the Dunmer said these words Peabody concluded his dance with a twirl and landed in a chair with his chin resting in his hands. His eyes now fully on Uulnath.
"In other words," Elendar continued "he’s why you’re alive right now... So,” Elendar raised his flagon again and repeated, “friendship through adversity.”

The high elf reached out slowly for the handle of his flagon, and inevitably mustering a smile, he repeated, “friendship through adversity.” At this they all repeated the phrase simultaneously while clanking their flagons, drinking the whole of their cups right then and there. Once they slammed their empty flagons down, Uulnath said in a low, raspy voice, “drinks are on me tonight, and I’ve got a few homemade ales in my pack for ya that’ll make ya forget yer names.”

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“You see and this is exactly the gesture we were hoping for,” Peabody explained to Elendar as they hiked through the thick forests of Orsinium, making their way to a nearby river. Despite Peabody being pleased with the outcome of the previous evening, Elendar’s grim encounter was fresh in his mind. “What happened to my parents?” He thought.

As they approached the lake, Uulnath could be seen in the distance casting for his day’s catch. “TA!” the wood elf exclaimed in excitement to see the Altmer again. The high elf looking up to greet the two travelers noticed that Peabody was tossing a stone up and down with a mischievous look about him. “Star’s above, Bosmer!” Exclaimed the Altmer. “DON’T YOU DARE TOSS THAT ROCK INTO THIS WAT-” The rock fell into the river with a plop, and Elendar smacked his palm to his forehead as Uulnath dropped his rod and sprinted towards the wood elf. “You’re on your own this time my friend,” the Dunmer said looking at his small companion. Peabody took off into the forest shouting, “Jus’ leave the other eye be!” Elendar laughed and watched as Uulnath and Peabody took off into the woods shouting at each other.

Introducing the Wanderers (Altmer)

Uulnath Drank or “Ta’drank”

He, an Altmer from the Summerset Isles to the west of Valenwood’s mainland, now ventures far and wide in search of intel that may lead him to the next fabled ancient cache. Led by the intelligent Queen Ayrenn, his homeland is now under the control of the Aldmeri Dominion. And most Altmer as well as those that inhabit the isles feel this the right discourse in securing the throne and the rightful existence of Altmer culture. Uulnath Drank however, couldn’t be bothered less by the actions of the lustrous tall.

His mother and father had contributed to the efforts in restoring the College of Aldemeri, and during these early times Uulnath was taught to understand the superior magical talent an Altmer possesses. However, he was drawn to the coast in search of his next loot. Here the bountiful nature of the sea and lands sang to him the locations of great treasures. This adventurous spirit gave him not only the ability to work as needed, but also proved a formidable training ground for a then young Altmer boy.

The wild beasts of these lands are not to be underestimated, as is apparent through the telling of fables to Altmer children. Tales of the adventurer who ventured too far only to fall victim to a dark crevasse, one inhabited by a deadly troll no less.   

Now having reached the age of 526, his skills are only beginning to sharpen like that of the Altmer tongue. As Uulnath explored throughout the lands of Valenwood he found home and family among a small group of fellow wanderers. Through his trials, debaucheries and the crafting of his own potent ales, Uulnath has come to wear a new title, that of Ta’drank.

You see, the Altmer has at their disposal not only the blessed magics of gods, but a liver rivaling that of the largest Nordic female. Whilst most could not handle the trials of The Seven Deadly Ales Ta’drank would handle two and a half without losing an ounce of wit about him.

This title was bestowed upon him by a tiny, fast handed wood elf named Peabody many years before this day. It was a common jest to play the game of  “Flagon Ta,” which involved the placing of a Ta rune into the flagon of one unsuspecting victim. If this were completed without the person noticing, the owner of the flagon would turn his pockets inside out and distribute its contents amongst the group. If however the owner of the flagon caught the perpetrator in the act, the punishment is enacted on them instead and with the added bonus of having to procure the next round of ales.

This is a game known very well by Ta’drank for it was played amongst the drunks of fisheries once the day’s fish had been brought in and their pockets had been filled. He had spent many days within these fisheries and had become proficient at the game no matter the state of mind. The security of one’s ale is the game. Which brings us back to Peabody, for if the security of one’s ale was at stake it was as if this little Bosmer always had all the right keys. Time and time again Ta’drank found himself pocket-out and penniless with a Ta in his drank. Long Live the Ale!

After The Long Evening

Peabody enters the room, “Aussie Jack!”, he exclaimed, as groans came from Elendar, “Good Morning to my favorite grey skinned Mer! I may have borrowed your purse as you were dreaming of that Ashlander girl you fancied from Bleakrock. Anyway, no worries you dry old leaf, ales are on me this evening”.

Elendar slowly rose from sleep and sat over the edge of his inn bed. Rubbing his eyes and head and trying to avoid looking at any of the interior torches which lit their room, the dark elf felt around for his coin purse. “… How much later did you stay up drinking?” he asked the Bosmer. “Drinking?!” exclaimed the wood elf, chortling a little as he moved his hand towards his leather belt. “I haven’t stopped, but, really, I’ve been working.” Peabody said this with a smile as he tossed Elendar’s coin purse to him, more full than it had been the previous night. At this the wood elf laughed and walked from their inn room to resupply for their travels that day.

The dark elf just sat there for a while with his head down in the palms of his hands. “My head feels like it’s been jumped on by a Dwemer Centurion,” he thought to himself.

 Peabody was sitting at a table with some orcs in the corner of the tavern when Elendar finally made his way to breakfast. The inn keeper of The Greedy Gut, Mazabakh, whose plump stature seemed the likely origin of the business’ name, was a gruff yet considerate orc - likely only as a result of this inn being his singular source of income. The dark elf sat at the bar where Mazabakh had served coffee and plates of breakfast to whoever wanted to help themselves, when a commotion from the corner where Peabody was distracted Elendar from his meal. An orc was now standing and his chair had flown backwards several feet. He looked enraged. “You cheated,” the orc grunted. The wood elf sat calmly for a moment and then finally said, “Are you insinuating that I tricked you, orc? Which the Green knows wouldn’t be hard to do, by the way.” At this the orc rushed forward to grab Peabody by the neck, but the Bosmer in one swift motion stepped up onto the table and flipped over the brute, using the orc’s own shoulders and forward momentum to propel his flip and send the orc half running, half tripping over himself into a stack of crates nearby. The splintered wood and provisions littered the ground and completely enveloped the prone orc's body.

 At this, Elendar just smirked and was content to continue with his breakfast as though nothing was going on. The inn keeper’s daughter, Mulzah, rushed from the adjoining hallway to see what the commotion was, only to see her father Mazabakh and a dark elf at the bar in front of the fire pretending nothing had happened, and a wood elf clapping his hands, as if to shake off dust, as another orc dragged out his now unconscious friend, not bothering to keep his voice down as he growled at the debilitated Orsimer. “You really are an idiot. I don’t know why I sit around while you get yourself into these types of..." The daughter, before turning on her heels and storming off, yelled across the room at her father, “and I suppose I’ll be cleaning that up, huh?!” Her disgruntled muttering could be heard growing more distant as she moved down the hall. By the time she was barely audible, Peabody joined Elendar at the bar. “Z’en’s bounty, that stodgy ol’orc nearly took my head off”, said Peabody with a chuckle as he ate the bread off of Elendar’s plate. The dark elf looked up at Peabody as the wood elf finished off the last of the Dunmer’s coffee for him. “So, what was that all about?” asked Elendar. “Well I offered to show him a magic trick, which consisted of making objects disappear, strictly golden objects of course” responded the Bosmer with a smug grin. “It seemed like you two were at a game,” replied the dark elf. “Ohh yes,” the Bosmer started, “well, I happened to acquire us an opportunistic detour for the day. A map of sorts. It was a game of chance, you see, where the chance for my new Orsimer friend was to lose his map, or lose his wits. It turned out that he wanted to lose both.” “Oh,” said Elendar, “and I suppose this map will lead us to coin?” The Bosmer smiled at this and said, “well, that, and hopefully something a bit more valuable.”

 In truth, Peabody was not entirely sure what the map led to, though the orc seemed to think it was of great value. So with that, like slaughter fish on a swimmer, the Bosmer felt that it could be more valuable to the elves than to the orc which he took exception to. “Where does this map lead?” asked Elendar. “No idea,” said the wood elf as he flipped a coin to the inn keep. This response slightly disconcerted Elendar. When Peabody feigned aloofness, it was only because the idea of danger being sprung on Elendar when unaware seemed to humor the wood elf. However, the dark elf trusted him enough, and knew that any danger Peabody lined up was never insurmountable, at least not thus far.

 The two Mer then prepared to set out from the great orc city of Orsinium, with only Peabody completely aware of where they were going. “Don’t look so worried Aussie, the Green will guide us, or whatever Three you prefer” Peabody said whilst encouragingly nudging his grey companion onto their beaten path. As the two wandered down the road, sounds of Peabody’s banter and Elendar’s slight remarks faded. Then all of a sudden, “THE ALE, WHERE’S THE ALE?!” Peabody exclaimed as Elendar laughed at him, “I am sure there is a tavern on our way, we always seem to stumble into one”.

Introducing the Wanderers (Dunmer)

Elendar "Australia Jackson" Samarys

Australia Jackson, born in the great house Redoran, and so called at birth Redoran Elendar Samarys, is a Mer of the Warrior house of Morrowind. Raised in the warrior class of the Dunmer, this humble young dark elf had lived the typical life of any Dunmer in house Redoran.

However, at a very young age, providence was against him. While visiting a market in Balmora, a family member was brutally murdered as a result of clandestine inter-house rivalry. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time, Elendar was accused of the murder of his own family member. After being taken into custody by the local Ordinators, Elendar was found guilty of murder of a member of his own house, and was to be sold into slavery.

Heartbroken, though unwilling to accept this fate, Elendar escaped custody in Balmora and left Vvardenfell altogether. He travelled west and made his way into Skyrim, realm of the Nords, though not without difficulty. The high Ordinators had ordered Elendar’s immediate retrieval and return to Vvardenfell to suffer the punishment of his crime. Word went ahead of the Ordinators of the ‘dangerous Dumner, Elendar Samarys,’ who was to be captured and returned to Vvardenfell for a hefty reward.

While laying low in Riften, a poor traveling bard recognized Elendar from wanted ads and had a mind to claim the reward. In a foolish attempt to lure Elendar into a trap, the bard Nord fell to the Dunmer’s quick bow reflex. The Riften guards were alerted to the murder of the bard, and immediately set out to sweep the city in search of a “tall Dunmer with angled features and dark reddish-purple hair.” Knowing he had precious little time to escape, Elendar rushed to the lower levels of Riften where he could escape via the waterways. Eluding the guards who were moving above, he crept down the dockside westward toward the city’s adjacent lake where Elendar could attempt a departure. As he snuck along the stone walls he nearly tripped over the boot of a Bosmer, who, though with an arrogant air and some smirking, helped Elendar avoid detection by ducking out into a sewer-way. This was not, of course, before the wood elf made a quick failed attempt at pick pocketing Elendar - it was exactly this failure on the part of the wood elf which made the dark elf impressive to him; he never failed at pick pocketing.

The Bosmer, named Peabody, learned all of Elendar’s troubles, and offered the Dunmer to travel with him through Tamriel, and eventually back to the Aldmeri Dominion. Elendar knew he would certainly be safe in the Dominion.

So, what about the name, Australia Jackson?

The name ‘Australia Jackson’ came partly from the Bosmer, and partly from a bard in a city on the west side of Skyrim called Solitude. Here, the bard college is full of young talent trying to compose songs of the adventures of others. As Peabody and Elendar enjoyed a few ales at The Winking Skeever, the bard asked for Elendar’s name as to write a song about his tales. This made Elendar uncomfortable, though he knew he was, in all probability, safe from the Dunmer here, where the Altmer had such a strong presence in Skyrim. Recognizing Elendar’s discomfort, Peabody drunkenly, laughingly blurted out, “His name is Australia Jackson!” And the bard went off. The Dunmer never much liked this name, though the two Mer were quickly great friends from then on. The ales have since never stopped flowing.

Introducing the Wanderers (Bosmer)

Peabody Pinewood

Basim "Peabody" Pinewood is no stranger to the ways of the Pact, in that his father and mother were entirely embedded in the ways of the Green. However, the strict rules of his kin never caught on. At a young age Basim was sent to serve a Spinner by his father, just as he had been, in hopes to have him develop a more rigid understanding and belief in Y'ffre's ways. Unfortunately, this slightly back fired as the easily influenced Bosmer fell on to the book of Lorkhaj, the trickster-diety, and Nocturnal, the night mistress. As he studied the old text he became as deceitful as he was charming.

Decades later Basim was well versed in the Pact as well as his mischievous beliefs and suggested to the old Spinner he make a pilgrimage, in the name of the Green Pact of course. However, this "pilgrimage" was actually a plan of escape, as Basim wanted nothing more than to find his way into the courts of the Nightingales.  

So at this point you're probably wondering "Why Peabody, where'd that come from?"

 Along his travels he came by a group of wanderers, he snuck up attempting to be unseen like a character in the shadowy tales he had read, but he was seen. The wanderers were a group of Khajiit, Basim may be nimble, but to assume he would make it past their sharp gaze was foolish. Luckily, the Khajiit were a merry group and invited Basim to join in there imbibing of ale, lavish meal, and story telling. However, one of the Khajiit could not move past Basim's stature and began to refer to him as Pea'Body. Through their talks of travel it was made apparent that this collective of Khajiit were the type that knew how to acquire various commodities and goods. They later invited their new found Pea'body to join them on there travels and there you have it. Basim was never a fan of his birth name and adopted his new alias quickly. Throughout the years he traveled Tameriel from one end to the other learning slight of hand and how to enter any door.

As he aged into adulthood (a ripe 65 years of age) he returned to Valenwood a different Mer. As of today, Peabody may be seen wandering the Elden Root or continuing his search for the shadowy halls of Nocturnal with a full quiver and a sharp-eye. However, if you see him be aware of your pockets or purses as he may not be malicious, but he does prefer the contents of others pockets more than his own.